In today’s Coffee with Christie Video I’m going to talk about control freaks and what you need to know about them and how you can protect yourself.
1.) Control freaks have zero control over themselves.
Since they have zero control over themselves, they feel the need to control other people. They will pretend to have it all together with the perfect house, job, the trophy wife, the ideal everything, but it’s an outward facade. Since they can’t control themselves, they’re miserable inside where it counts, so they often have to go out of their way to make someone else feel miserable about themselves. There is no compromising with a control freak. It’s their way or no way. Some will pretend to compromise if and only if they are able to gain something from it. However, shortly thereafter they gain what they were after, you will be discarded.
2.) Control freaks are riddled with fear.
They are the type of people who won’t walk in the forest or even go barefoot because, “What if a bear is roaming around,” or “What if there’s poop on the ground.” Come to think of it; perhaps they should be afraid. Have you ever seen a mountain lion encounter someone in fear? What happens is that the mountain lion attacks because it’s instinctually aware that fearful humans do dangerous and irrational things.
3.) If you disagree with a control freak, it will be viewed as a personal assault.
Don’t even try to soften the blow with, “Well, you know, I respect you, but I disagree with that, and this is what works for me.” As the “controlled” you must always keep in mind that they know what’s best for you so don’t expect to complete your sentences because halfway through a thought you can expect to be interrupted with, “Oh yeah, I know what you need.” The reason they think they know everything is because they’re narcissistic.
4.) Control freaks don’t care about you.
They don’t care about you as a unique individual or the fact that you’re a beautiful soul with your own path to live. You are nothing more to them than a play toy, and they will always find an excuse to attack you or exert power over you because that’s the only thing that makes them feel like they have some semblance of strength. This lack of strength or power makes them dangerous because when all else fails, they will call in the enforcers. “If my neighbors won’t do what I want them to do, I’m going to call the cops to make them do what I think they should be doing.” If they can’t control you with their abuse or manipulations, then they are going to call somebody with a badge and a gun to do their dirty work for them, or maybe they’ll decide to round up their gang-stalking posse to harass and slander you, thereby ostracize you from the community.
So, how do we protect ourselves from control freaks?
1.) Refuse to engage. You will not win.
Every time that you disagree with the king or queen’s orders, it will be considered an assault deserving of a full force attack and they don’t care how you feel about that because they’re always justified. There’s still a reason (in their deluded mind) why you made them do what they did to you so resist the urge to engage your ego to prove your point or use the “poor me” approach as an attempt to garner sympathy. There’s nothing that you can say. Just smile and walk away. If this is your significant other or somebody you live with, you need to get out of the situation/relationship tout de suite.
You will also need to take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What is MY problem? Why do I allow myself to be controlled? Could it be that I fear my own power? Am I subconsciously punishing myself for past guilt or shame?” I don’t know. That’s up for each of us to decide. But never forget that control freaks do not care about you, they only care about their toy that they can emotionally manipulate. You are nothing more than the receptacle for all their unexpressed and unresolved fear, pain, and anger.
2.) Accept the fact that you cannot “fix” a control freak.
Some people don’t even realize that they are control freaks because they haven’t yet graduated to a full-blown narcissistic psychopath. And many of them are on psychotropic drugs and honestly do not know who they have become! I was one of them!!! People who genuinely love and want others to be happy are not trying to fix them because love is about allowance, not demands. I frequently encounter people who come onto my YouTube channel or Facebook page attempting to make demands on my life, time or content…these days I just say, “Sorry control freak. You need help. Blocked. Buh-bye.” That’s just the way I roll now that I’ve learned real health through self love and won’t be abused in that manner anymore.
3.) Control YOURSELF.
The controllers who have no control over themselves are the ones that must decide to change. All you can do is shut the fuck up because anything you say will be perceived as nagging. So, instead of “speaking your piece” try “holding your peace” and MOVE ON.
Remember that others only try to control you because they have no power over themselves! They only attack those who do! Stay in your power and let them expose themselves for who they really are. You cannot or will not change anyone but yourself. Focus on that and why you would be around someone who would attempt to control another. Healthy people DO NOT TRY TO CONTROL OTHERS! No more excuses…just move on, IF you want to remain in a healthy state of mind yourself! 🙂
Here’s another video where I discussed “Control.”
Blessings and Love,